Five Years is Not a Short Time

So, here I am, already back in Jakarta, Indonesia for my long-awaited summer vacation. I am back to my life as a city girl and I surprised that I couldn't get used to it like I used to. Seems things change while I am in Beppu and my point of view and how I value things changed. Anyway, before I got home, I heard one news that I don't want to hear the most: my older brother and his girlfriend broke up, and this time, there is no turning back.

They had been seeing each other since five and a half years ago, while both of them studying in the same university. It's hard for me to get close to her in the beginning, but then, we got really close and often went for trips together with my brother as well. For me, she is like an older sister I never had. And seeing her together with my brother was one of my little happiness because they were fit for each other. At least that's what I thought.. until they broke up couple weeks ago. And the reason they broke up seemed so unavoidable anymore.

I knew her since my third year of junior high school, I remember her helping me chose the right high school, becoming my fashion guru since when I was young I had no taste on fashion at all (only dark-colored T-shirt and jeans.. okay, come on), supporting me when I was about going to college, helping me with my first paper in college where shockingly I got F for the first time because I did not know how to make a good academic report in college style, and on and on. I feel I'd grown up together with her. Even she still made me the cupcakes for my homecoming presents today.

Yes, so today, I met her after one year apart. We went for girls day out to one of new malls in Jakarta. And it's still so hard for me to believe that she's not together anymore with my brother. We always went for walk or just hanging out together with my brother and suddenly, today there were only two of us. And I know she also felt the same. Even though she tried to act strong and cheerful, I could see she still broke in the inside. And have to watch her like that just made me feel broke as well.

She's just like a family for me. She knows my preference on clothing, shoes; even she knows which clothes I was going to take a look before saying it to her! I guess five years is not a short time and also inside that five years there must be thousands of memories that could not be replaced. Okay, just writing this made me all teary right now. I don't know how she could act that strong in front of me for the whole day. Having girls day out with me must tore her down since we turned out talking about the past and it might create more sad memories to her. And also to me.

Losing her feels just like the same like losing a close family for me.
Five years is not a short time, that what I said repeatedly inside of my head since the first time I heard about that news.
As his sister, I could not say that I am not disappointed and sad about this, but again, I could not do anything about it. For sure this will create another scar, even for me.

Why relationship seems so complicated?