Small Reward

「SASになれて良かった！」
I am so glad I became a member of SAS!

SAS is a student organisation that I've been working for the past three years since my second semester in APU. It's actually kind of an on-campus part-time job where my main job is planning and organising local exchange event with Beppu and Oita citizen. Since the first time I joined this organisation, I know that I had huge passion on this. Just doing the work always make me happy and without I realise time flew as fast as an arrow. I just enjoyed so much working in SAS.

I met brilliant people and seniors that taught me a lot and in some extent made me want to become someone like them. In short, being in SAS made me grow in some point. And it always made me thought how lucky I am being selected to become one of the SAS member by Student Office. So, in my last year being an advisor in SAS (team leaders are called "advisors"-red), when Office asked me about my goals for the whole 2 semesters on my MBO (Management By Objective) Interview with them, I said I want to be the real advisor for my team members who are new to SAS and still have no idea at all about this organisation. Instead of me, I want them to shine and be the one who really do the event planning and learn a lot from them. Instead of being the one who told them to do things, I want them to be independent and have their own initiative to start the work without anyone else telling them what to do; and I would be there to support them fully and be someone to be asked or helped when things get wrong but still take the responsibility as the team leader if they did any mistake. I simply want them to grow throughout this semester. I remember saying to Office that I want my member  being glad of the fact that they became SAS member just like me.

Due to some sort of unexpected events, my last event was almost postponed. Especially when 2/3 of the members couldn't be there on the event day and the only member who can present on the day has no experience at all of the event. As their advisor, I finally found out the solution but even though I cannot present on the event day, I keep support my member and advise her what to do in such situation.  Monitoring all the meetings and checking all the files they made. Advise them carefully when they did something wrong but praise them when they did it right. Office and other team advisor might say I was gambling by letting the event went on as its schedule, but I said to them, I trust my members. That's the only thing I can do, give my full trust and support to them. Gladly the event finished yesterday with minor problem and I don't know why but I got to understand the meaning of teamwork after this event. And the most thing that moved me a lot is watching my members for being the one who always said "Maya, what should I do next?" to someone who can take real action and even held proper meeting and wrote the whole event proposal and all the scheduling even though I wasn't there. And most of all:


「SASになれて良かった！」
I am so glad I became a member of SAS!

And I know, my duty as an advisor is officially finished.

Japanese New Year Greetings Postcard!

Hi bloggers!
So it has been a week since we celebrated new year and I couldn't be happier because this year I got plenty of new year postcards =)

I never really received a new year postcard in my whole life, since in my country we don't exchange new year cards, until last year when I received my very first new year postcard from my Chinese friend who is studying in France right now. I remember how I felt really happy when I received that small hand-written card on my hand. Well, I never really sent any postcard in my whole life (I used to send handwritten letter a lot during elementary school though) but I wanted to be the one who send new year's postcard this year. I sent to some of my friends in Japan though but in return, I also got some from those I didn't even send to as well! Just feel so happy especially because I still haven't recovered yet from this chicken pox thingy and I still can't go anywhere.

Even I exchange new year postcard with one of my bestie who lives in Germany right now. And she designed her postcard by herself, which makes it really special to me. I always love her arts and her designs =) In Japan, people exchange new years postcard every year. They said that young people don't send a lot these days (they prefer online postcard) but for those who got married and have kids, more likely they would have personalised-postcard. Printing out their own family picture on their postcards and send them to all their acquaintances and relatives. Such a nice experience.

People said it's really troublesome to do such a thing in this digital era. It's troublesome to buy some postcard, write on it, buy stamp and go to post office or nearest post box to send them. It's much easier to do it online and save lots of time and effort. But that's the point. Because nowadays everyone goes online and digital, such a physical new year postcard becomes really special for both who send and receive it. You know, you should try once and  see what I mean =)

Random Thoughts About My Dream

Being sick during new year holiday has no real fun at all. Beside having all your body aching, itchy and unpleasant at all, once you have your Facebook logged in, all you see is your friends photos being uploaded while playing with snow, skiing, going to cinema, eating at good restaurant, having fun... seriously, it's suck. While you have to be patience staying at home, eat healthy food, take your medicine and basically do nothing. And the internet connection doesn't help at all.

But actually I also glad I am sick. I can take that rest that I've been longing for. The real rest where you have an excuse to stop worrying about all things happen to you recently. All the pressure from my unprogressive thesis, job hunting, my own financial crisis, etc. For the moment, I had a chance to forget all about it and just relax and watch TV from my cellphone every single day. And also, as usual I think about a lot of things.

Being sick actually let me to write more. Not only in this blog but literally everywhere. On my iPhone Notes, my notebook, on the back of my medicine prescription, on random piece of paper I found near my bad.. just anywhere. And I realise for one more time, I just want to write. I always want to write. Since I was little, that's the only job I've been thought about. Well, I used to dream being a doctor as well, but it was another story. Well, I don't know if my writing is good, whether my grammar is correct, but since the first time I wrote that short story on my 3rd grade of elementary school, I know my passion would be always related about writing. I just want to write, write, write about anything.

I always wanted to write my own book, publish it and work in publishing industry. That's why I chose English Literature as my major when I was about to choose my university back then. But I was confused back then, publishing industry was not a promising industry in Indonesia and I remember that time, whenever I told someone else that I want to work in publishing industry and become a writer, even my own brother would make a face and said "Why would you go for it?"

I applied for 5 universities that time, 2 universities majoring in English Literature, 2 universities majoring in Business Management, and 1 universities majoring in Film/Animation Studies (and I kept this one secret from my mother, I told her I got accepted in Media Studies). Luckily I got accepted to all of them, but in the end I chose my current university because I wanted to study in Japan so bad. Even though I don't really keen learning business management, I thought someday it would be useful for my future so I gave it a try. Well in the end, I just took those subjects that emphasise on self-development, Japanese culture, languages, and general management subjects. And when I took Career Japanese as my job hunting preparation and we had to analyse ourself and our past, the more I know about myself,
 the more I cannot ignore the voices in my head that actually I chose a wrong major.

In fact, I never care about business profit and sales. I remember when I was in high school, I always offended my brother who landed his first job on big cigarettes company "Why would you have other people to die in order for you to make money out of it?" From that moment, I always have this tiny perspective of mine that business world have this one big priority, which is gain profit and profit, it's just they have varies of way. And ironically, I spent my last 3 and half year studying about business.
As job hunting got started last December, I went to lots of company seminars and job fairs, but for me, all of the company sounds exactly the same, they even use the same words as their goal, corporate philosophy and people they want to recruit. And all they talk about is how they want to have new employee that could help them to be leading company in Japan and/or in the world with promising profit growth for the next 5 to 10 years. To see it from business perspective,  it's totally fine to think that way, I mean, that's business and that's actually how it works in this business world.

But, I just can't ignore the fact that it makes the voices in my head even louder and louder. They are not wrong, I am the one who is not right for this industry from the first place. Instead of only focusing on corporate profit and sales, I think I am more sociable, where I care more about how the job I do, the work I do could give impact on people's life directly. How it could develop other people and be better person in the future. For me, all I want to see in the future is better human being. That's why, instead of being selected as the best employee with highest sales record, I'd rather choose to be an inspiring person. I remember when I started my first blog, I got feedback from my readers of how my writing really inspired them to do things in life. And I couldn't forget the feeling that I got when I received such a comment. Well, I guess I don't have what it takes to be a real businesswoman.

The life I've been dreaming since I was high school was simple. Well, in that time I got lots of dream, including being a movie director (or simply just a script writer), and one of them is working in publishing industry. Write article to be published, be the Editor-In-Chief after years of working and hey, start my own publishing company or my own magazine would be a really nice dream of mine. That's why I want to study more about English because come on, my English still far away from perfect and got an English Literature degree from Brown University or New York University, then have work experience in international publisher in Singapore or Aussie would be nice before finally go back to my own country. And I actually never imagined myself working in company before I came to APU. All I can think of is being an entrepreneur. Feel so weird after writing all these stuff and look at the reality in front of me, it is quite different. Well but I never say it's too late to go for my dream.

That is why I kept doubting myself these day for choosing to do job hunting in Japan. Is it really something I want? Is it really a right path to choose? Is it better for me to drop everything off and go to graduate school and majoring in English instead? Doing job hunting not only it against my family will, I started to feel the connection between working here in Japan and my future dream becomes blurry and blurry these day.

Well, it's new year and at least for now, I want to write more and more. I am preparing a new travel blog right now and try to find opportunities to be able to contribute more (in writing). And as I don't know what would be happen with my future, I always think if I happen to get office job someday, I'd like to be freelance writer on the weekend.

Life become more complicated, but interesting in the same time =)

It's New Year, It's Time for New Resolution!

Happy New Year 2014

Here we are already. New year 2014! For some kind of reason, I got really excited to welcome this new year. After all the things happened on 2013, I feel this new year would be a good year to restart everything. Even though, to begin with, I got Chicken Pox right now.

By the way, here I want to share my last year resolution and would like to share this year resolution!

2013 New Year Resolution:
1. Visit Saga and Miyazaki (complete Maya's Kyushu Travel List)
    Finally I visited both of the prefecture and it means I already completed my Kyushu Travel List!

2. Be more organised
    - Finish everything in to-do list I was able to manage this somehow
    - Put things and stuffs in order (documents, stuffs)
       Some of the document, I had put it in order but still half-complete.

3. Reply people's message/SMS/emails/calls frequently (no more than 1 day)
    Alright, in the end I wasn't able to accomplish this, but at least I tried to reply my sharemate's as soon as possible lol

4. Be honest with my own feeling
    - Never lie again to myself Well, it's kinda vague whether I was able to accomplish this or not. In some cases, I was honest to myself, but mostly, I still find it difficult to be honest with myself.

5. Live with no regret!
    - I won't know what'll happen unless I try Joined symposium in Japanese, taking offer to presenting in Japanese in front of more than 10 Japanese companies, joined business challenge program. 
    - Brave enough to take chances Well, it became my middle name.

6. Renewal of my lifestyle
    - Redecorate my own room Yeah, did it!
    - Have enough sleep and rest Compare to 2012, I had more sleep and rest, trust me.
    - Drink more water per day Oops, still not able to do this.

7. Learn Japanese to the next level
    - Read more Japanese books Finish my first book in all Japanese!
    - Take Career Japanese class That class... killing me.
    - Write more in Japanese Tried to use Japanese everytime I posted something on Facebook
    - Practice Keigo (Japanese Honorific term) Yeah, I went for part-time job and several opportunities to have presentation in Japanese.
    - Find part-time job Lawson, lawson, lawson!


Wow, it's not as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, I did my 2013 new year resolution quite well. So how about this year? Here's my latest resolution!

2014 New Year Resolution:
1. Catch up with my old friends! :)
    Okay, I am suck with keeping old friends. And I'll start blaming my busyness for not be able to catch up with them where actually it's me who is lack of effort. With things happened last year, I think this year would be a good start to be more open and say 'Hi! How are you?' to them with smile.

2. Start my own cash book, be financially smarter
    I traveled too often that I started to feel bad about it. It doesn't mean I have no savings but I just want to control my own expenditure these day. Also, I want to see my own buying behaviour pattern.

3. Eat breakfast every single morning (if possible)
    I am not a type of girl who eat breakfast every single morning. Not that because I am lazy (well, it might be one of the factor though) but mostly it is because I've never used to eat breakfast. Since entering junior high school which is like about 10 years ago, I never had my breakfast. Again, not because my mother didn't give me any food, but my school was so far away from home back then and I had to go to school in such an early hour. In that time, rather than eating my breakfast in car which always make me have car-sick, I always chose to sleep. And since then, I never had my breakfast and it became my lifestyle. I only ate two times a day, which is lunch and dinner. But this year, I will try to change this 10-year-bad-habit. I will have at least two slices of toast to start my day =)

4. Finish my "77-Things-To-Do Before Leaving Japan" List
    Okay, I got another list and I made this list before I came to Japan and kept revised it frequently since then. It was quite interesting to have such a list and I already completed like 57/77 so 20 more to go!

5. Have an Afternoon Tea set at least once
    Me and my friend was planning to go to Hong Kong and Macau for New Year and because suddenly I got sick, we canceled everything. When we went through the travel guide book, I saw about this thingy, afternoon tea set, and I am dying to have one. The thing is I don't know where I can have it (I heard it usually in some luxurious hotel or place like that) and I still have not find any friend that would be willing to have tea together with me since it's quite expensive. But it would be really good if I can try at least once in my life.

6. Join volunteer activity (go to the site)
    Not only donating money for charity but I really want to do volunteer activity that required me to go to the field directly and do something over there. Will find information about this and try to apply for one =)

7. Post a blogpost at least once a month
    No need to remind myself of how bad I abandoned this blog last year. Once I posted again, I only posted things about misery and sad stuff. For this year, I will try to post regularly and keep it more cheerful and positive! =)

8. Remember everyone's birthday
    My other bad habit, I rarely could remember any other birthday beside mine, my best friends and my family. For this year, I will try to remember everyone's birthday and send them a simple message such as "Happy Birthday" to lighten up their day.

9. Change phone to smartphone
    Okay, I am still using an old Japanese flip cellphone that I found it really inconvenient these day. The only reason I didn't want to change it up until now because I actually really like using it. It also has TV application on it that I can watch Japanese TV anywhere and anytime I want. But as I started job hunting and stuff, it is so difficult to get the latest information since everything is available in internet and I don't have stable internet connection at home. Even though I have iPhone, it's Indonesian number so I only depend on wifi to use its application. Kinda stressed me out recently thats why I decided to change phone to smartphone this year.

10. Launch a travel blog
     As I've been traveling so often recently, I would like to launch my own travel blog and be able to spread out information to all travellers out there. I don't know if I can launch it near the future but definitely I'll try to launch it this year :)


How is it? And how about yours?

Thanks A Lot 2013!

Finally finally finally!! Finally I got steady internet connection to post some blogpost again after years and months... no, I just exaggerating. Oh my God, this is even better than any Christmas presents that finally I can catch up with the latest news in my life and write again in my own blog =)

But by the way, 2013 is over. And you know what, I never thought that this year would turn out to be one of the greatest year (so far) in my life. It's just so many things happened in twelve months and somehow made me grow to some extent. Here's some highlights about them :D

1. January: The Beginning of the Year

Coming-On-Age Ceremony with Indonesian

The Coming-On-Age Ceremony

My first Hatsumode

I remember I went for Hatsumode (first visit to Japanese shrine during New Year) for the first time in my life. Well, basically what we do is just we go to the nearest shrine (and the nearest for mine is about 30-minutes walk from Beppu station or 5-minutes drive by car). You guess it right, I don't own a car, so  me and two of my Japanese friends walked together until there. It was so crowded and people pray in front of the shrine. Throwing a 5-yen coin and pray to their God about their wishes. Also, they can write down their wishes into a wooden plate and hanging it on the shrine wall. For me, I took fortune teller and got 大吉（dai-kichi）or very lucky!

In January, I also had my coming-on-age ceremony or 成人式 (seijin-shiki). It's a ceremony for all grown-up in Japan (the age you are considered of being a grown-up is 20 in Japan) so you are kind of celebrated for being an adult. My sharemate rent a proper kimono but because I didn't have enough money to rent one (it is very very expensive, FYI) so I just wear my own country traditional clothes lol

Because of that, I remember being interviewed by local TV. Kind of weird having such a ceremony, especially in here, it turn out to be a moment to have reunion with your childhood friends, it's quite nice to have such an experience.

2. February: Run For Your Life, Run For Your Love

First Internship Experience

Yes, I got my very first internship experience! It's actually only a 2-weeks short experience where the main job was only doing some administration work such as copying, printing, typing, preparing tea for visitors, etc. But as I got my first job in Japanese flower arrangement company, I got a chance to learnt Ikebana (Japanese flower arrangement) for about 4 times, went to annual flower design exhibition, had first-hand experience about how to publish magazine, in-store experience where we got chance to sell ikebana equipment, had a Japanese shrine next to the office and stay in Kyoto, the heart of Japanese Traditional soul for two weeks for free! It was just awesome!

And I should admit, in this month, I started my first serious relationship (omg I really hope none of my family would ever ever read this blog!) with a local. It was really difficult for me to accept him at first, there was nothing in common between us, and falling for him was totally out of my plan. The only thing that made me finally accept him was the fact that I started to smile more and be more honest with my feeling after I met him. For the first time, I don't care about his appearance or how he dress, I just care about him as a human being. It's just a feeling like I feel I could rely on someone when I need to and as I started to get to know him, I just wanted to stay by his side and keep supporting him no matter how hard things will get. I had no expectation of him, as starting this relationship was out of my plan. So we started to have LDR or Long Distance Relationship.

3. March: Being a FLAG (Fellow Advisory Staff)

FLAG Spring 2013 Member

Finished the internship, FLAG activities awaits. Actually FLAG is an organisation in my campus where they are selected and trained to be able to conduct various orientation for the up-coming new students. I was selected to be a vice-president of Event Team, where I was mainly in charge of making a five-days continuous event called "Welcome Cafe" where the new students could have talk with senior students about the new campus life and stuff and also have cultural exhibition while enjoying some snacks that we prepared beforehand to be able to grasp the atmosphere of being in a "cafe". I learnt a lot from this experienced that actually I messed up the whole first day because of my incapability to bring everyone together and work in team. I burst into tears in front of everyone and I couldn't stop from sobbing for about an hour. I was really frustrated by myself and couldn't stand seeing the whole plan were ripped into pieces.

4. April: Redecorate My Bedroom

After some events, finally I had my bedroom redecorated! Me and my sharemate also redecorated our apartment such as bought a new dinner table, kitchen table and also I bought a new bicycle! Suddenly I feel more ready living in downtown :D

5. May: Have My First Income

So I was there, having my usual Career Japanese class when I looked around me and saw my classmate are so good in Japanese and they can distinguish and use Keigo or Honorific term of Japanese. And with my curiosity of never having a real part-time job outside the school (feel enough with having part time job doing some local exchange), this time I want to have a real part-time job. A real one that could practice my Keigo. The real one that could give me extra income. The real one like the one that Ashley Tisdale has in The Suite Life of Zack and Cody on Disney Channel.

I remember that night, after having a boring part-time job as a receptionist for the whole 8 hours, I walked into Lawson, a convenient store nearby my apartment and asked to the store manager directly whether they need a part-timer. And suddenly I got the job in my hand! But, having this job is not easy at all... trust me.

6. June: Birthday and Challenge Program

My 21st Birthday

Business Challenge Program

Okay, to be begin with, this month was my 21st birthday. Actually I was quite busy with stuff that I don't really care about my birthday. But seems the God of drama does not let me to have my birthday passed as usual that suddenly someone came right the night before my birthday. He was from my past and we hadn't met each other for more than one year long. I actually never thought that I would ever met him again in person in my life since he left. But suddenly there he was, in front of me, on the night of my birthday, wishing me a belated birthday and even prepared me some birthday present that really left me speechless. FYI, he doesn't even live in Japan if you know what I mean.

And I had myself joining a business challenge program with students from Tokyo University, Waseda University, Keio University, all of those Japanese Top Universities. The result from this program? I wanted to cry. I felt so dumb because the topic was quite difficult and the language barrier made me feel that I was the stupidest person in the room and my team member wasn't helping at all. Well, at least it made me realised of how much preparation that I should do (including Japanese skill and awareness of the latest news) if I really want to do job-hunting in Japan.

7. July: Thai Week 2013

Thai Traditional Dance

I joined Thai Week this year (finally!) and had a chance to learn Thai Traditional Dance which is really similar with Indonesian Traditional Dance. The thing is, Indonesian dance has more complicated movement comparing to theirs. But it was quite interesting to learn their dance and actually I got some close friend after joining this grand show =D


8. August: Brother's Wedding and Sydney Trip!

Brother's Wedding

Harbour Bridge, Sydney, Australia

My brother got married this summer! Finally, after going out with his girlfriend for about seven years and went through some ups and downs, finally oh finally they got married! The wedding itself was sooo tiring, even for me. We had some ceremonies and talk about the visitors, there were like thousands! And I am not exaggerating this time. So glad everything was finished after three days.

And I went to Sydney! My first Aussie experience in my life! Well, it should have been my brother's and his new wife honeymoon place, but because of some reason they couldn't go so in the end, only me, my brother's wife's siblings who went there and enjoy the sightseeing. Even though some happenings did happen, it was so excited and fun exploring new place beside Asia, I would say.

9. September: Tokyo-Hiroshima Trip and the Fairy Tales Ended

Going back to Japan, I went through Tokyo, not Fukuoka as usual. I used my Dad's mileage to get free airplane ticket. The only reason I decided to go through Tokyo that I need to meet him. That person that I hadn't met for about seven months and I could see both of us were falling apart. Something wrong with our relationship when I pretended everything was totally fine these months. I came there to save any last pieces that I could save from burning but it seems it was too late. Nothing I can do even when I came there. It might be my fault that be too furious towards our relationship. It might be his fault of not making any effort to win me back. But in the end, it was both of our fault for not understanding each other enough and blame each other rather than try to make up things. We just hurt each other too bad.

I couldn't stop myself from crying on my way back home. I never cried that much in my whole life. I remember sitting at the train in JR Yamanote Line from Shinjuku Station back to Shinjuku Station through Tokyo Station and it took about one hour. I didn't care anymore about crying at public, all I want to do was to ease the pain that I felt for months. I tried to be normal when I met my friend in Hiroshima and enjoyed eating and sightseeing around. The hardest part was arriving back at Beppu, where all the memories were just here.

10. October: First Concert!

Ikimonogakari Fukuoka Concert, 2013

Then the new semester as a 4th year student started! OMG cannot believe it was so fast! And the highlight of this month was my first concert in Fukuoka! I was so excited because I never gone to any concert in my whole life. Together with my share mate, we went to Fukuoka and watched Ikimonogakari concert together. It was quite awesome! And I am dying to watch Taylor Swift Concert right now lol

11. November: Miyazaki Trip

Travel alone to Miyazaki Prefecture

For this month, I went to Miyazaki Prefecture. With this, I went to all prefectures in Kyushu Island. Finally! LOL The very first moment I arrived here, I fell in love with Miyazaki. The sea and scenery reminds me a lot with Florida that made me think of my family and my childhood memory a lot. It made me want to go back to Florida with my family. Because I went there alone, I had a good chance to think about my future as well as the job-hunting get nearer and nearer these days.

In this month, I met one guy from SONY that also made me questioned myself whether I should really get a job in Japan or not. As I want to work in Japan to have experience, for him, my reason sounds irrational for him and I'd just waste of my time if I choose to work in Japan. Well, I got mad at him and just ignore what he said afterwards. But, deep down inside, I got mad at him because I know he is actually right. He just blurt out something that I don't want to admit. And when he asked the question, I couldn't answer. Simply to say, I lost my purpose to work in Japan. I don't know why I want to do job hunting in Japan now. Especially after I broke up with my ex. I mean, I could say that one of the main reason of us breaking up was because of his work. Others might think he cheated on me, but I strongly believe that actually busyness that made us apart. Busyness and his work changed his feeling. And I don't want to lose myself as well once I start getting job here. Also, my family against it so bad. I would never dare to work for long-term here for my family sake. But, if I only work for short-term, why should I get a job in Japan in the first place? I don't even dare to have dream now, because anything that I dream of, always against my family. That make me question myself even more: Whose life I am living now?


12. December: Job Hunting Started!

Job Hunting Mode

Winter Vacation: Taking photo with deers in Nara, Japan

Being Santa Clause in Lawson

So finally it's December and all I do is going around Company Seminar and Job Fair while wearing suit. It might look cool for the first few days but I felt sick already with it. Especially during winter, OMG I started hate winter because of that. And I went to Nara with my friends and successfully took one picture with deers! Other than that just being Santa Clause in Lawson as part-timer.


In the end, I think I grew a lot throughout this year. I shed so many tears this year. Moreover I started to think about my life more. What kind of value I actually have? What kind of person I actually am? What kind of life I want to live in? What kind of person I want to spend my rest of life with? For who I am living my life now? What is my purpose of life? Those questions are the questions that I don't think can be answer immediately. Because people are change. The environment change. People's perspective change. And that's just part of our life.

Happy New Year 2014!