The Time I Fell Down

From last March, I was extremely busy that I feel like dying everyday. The busyness doesn't slow down even for a second. Starts from being the leader of Guidebook AP House Spring 2012, RA Training, Pick Up period, AP House Entrance Ceremony preparation, new classes, Indonesian Week 2012 Recruitment, World Festival Decoration, Belibis Dance, Piring Dance, Indonesian Week 2012 Internal Job, SAS Events, etc. I could not even list more because it's so long. I remember there was days when I had to run around the campus all day long (literally!) to get some vacant room for important meeting. Or days when my phone keep ringing and ringing until I felt I really wanna throw it away. Or day when I had to choose to dedicate all my life to my job or spend it with the people I want to spend with. Maybe people could not understand my busyness, but to be honest, there's no single day that I don't want to burn my agenda book so bad.


Expectation. Recently I heard from my friends that I am known as a girl who is very multitasking. Can take 4 or 5 different of jobs and accomplish everything in the same time. Everyone expect me of that. And recently, I felt more pressure that I've ever had before, especially when others are also busy and I have to keep moving on and on. I started to lose my focus. Mistaken on reserving the room. Forgetting some important meeting just because I was too tired and forgot to write the time on my agenda book. Couldn't accomplish things that I used to be able to. I start to feel I disappoint lots of people that already expected me so much because of my recent bad work ethics. And I lost all my self-confidence for once more.


Then, suddenly someone came out of blue. I haven't met him for awhile. I knew him for awhile and since our first meeting, he always believe in me and have faith in myself. It is like he even know me; as if he could see through my self and see my capability that I even never knew before. Looking back now, I remember that he always says thing about me that motivated me to try new things. He seems to know that I am able to do things, but because I never had enough self-confidence in myself, I often refuse to try; and he always the one who push me to try it. He never failed to convince me that I could do things better than this. And from that short meeting, it built up my self-confidence again. He is just the helping hand I needed to help me getting up when I fell down.


Thinking about it now, I think that is the importance of old friends. Old friends are just like time capsule. When you talk again with them, somehow they will remind you with the old you. And sometimes we have to remember our old self, especially when we got lost in things. In that way we can survive. Especially when you are afraid of changes a lot... just like me.

Different Paths We Choose

Sometimes in life, things happen differently from what we already planned before. That's very normal. I have this one friend of mine. We just talked over the free-dial phone of our university dorm a moment ago. Well, I can say she one of my closest friend here because we share too many similarity (no need to mention it here, right? Because the list will just go on and on and on). We traveled a lot and just had fun together a lot.


Both of us became RA (Resident Assistant) of our dorm from last year. For me, I just wanted to seek experience of international/Japanese organization while hopefully improving my communication skills and self-confidence. We applied together, passed the first, second and final screenings as well. We started together, as a close friend, while keeping in mind that when  things went terribly difficult and hard, we still have each other to back us up. Becoming a place we can share everything and release all the stress and pressure. 


Almost one year passed, and it's almost the end of the one-year RA contract. I, who was from the beginning, only seeking for experience and self-development (which I think I already had them as I planned) decided to quit becoming RA and move to live in downtown. I, who's just like a bird, cannot stay in one place for a very long time because I easily got bored and craving for new adventures and challenges. Then, I figured out that my friend might want to continue.. which means, we are going to choose different path from now on.


I cannot lie and say that I am not sad with this; I mean, we were all in this together for about one year, helping each other out, reminding each other to keep balance between job and school, listening to each other's stories, going through difficult time because of our demanding job that requires our scarification of our time, energy and life.. but, then, I cannot be egoistic and ask her to quit with me, it's her the one who has to decide. And I respect her for that.


The thing is, I just realized one thing. 


In life,  even though we start something together, in the end, we will go on separate ways. All of us has to choose different path to follow. From now on, there will be more and more decisions we should make and things that we should give up. We will have lots and lots of choices in hand and it will be up to us to let go some chances or realize them.


All of sudden, I don't feel I am ready to be a grown-up.

My Current Travel Wish-List

I've been known by people as a traveler. My love of traveling is the same like my love with cats, eating sweets, taking photos, learning language, writing and sleeping. Last February, I traveled all by myself to Busan, South Korea. Well, one of my relative is living there so she became someone like both of my guide and translator as well. Also, I've been to about 10 prefectures in Japan (and I got a feeling I have to update it soon!). I can say that traveling is one of my way to get rid of stress and pressure.


I got this trait from my family. My Dad is surely a true traveler. When he was taking his master degree in USA back then on the late 80s, he traveled a lot. Not to mention when he brought his family to Pittsburgh (I was a kid back then) to continue his further study of PhD. We traveled on every vacation time we had. The place that we haven't visited yet is only the East Cost of USA. He always said to me (especially since now I am living in Japan): Life is just once. Grab every chances that come to you, they won't come for the second time for sure. Study a lot, meet other people a lot, try a lot of things, and don't forget to travel a lot.


So.. maybe me and traveling cannot be separated from the beginning. When I just got into Japan, I couldn't help but start to explore around when everyone else still busy with their things. I found how to get to Beppu Service Area in campus with my friend when others hadn't even known there was one! And every time someone went somewhere with me, we always ended up exploring new places unintentionally (most of the time because we got lost and we just wandering around and finally found lots of new interesting places!)

I took Tourism Policy class this quarter and every time I went to the class, the lecture makes me want to travel and explore the world even more than before. There are things out there that worth the risk, demand to seek, and and worth to live for. If I believe in reincarnation, I might was an adventurous shepherd in my previous life. My intention to travel is not for bragging on facebook, uploading every single photos I took (well, some of photos won't hurt either lol) and make everyone envy me. It is more than that.. it's just seeing new things keeps me alive. I found it really interesting to see places that differs with mine, different people, different cultures. If I could reborn in this world, I would choose to become a cat... the one who could travel all around the world. Either that.. or a bird, that would fly anywhere I want to.


Currently, these places are my new must-visit places:
1. Paris, France

I don't know why but I am interested with Paris recently. The city of love, lots of people say. And it would be very nice if I could visit it and cast my self with its magic spell once in my lifetime.

2. Sydney, Australia

Thanks to my Tourism Policy lecturer, now I want to go to Australia so bad. He keeps talking about Australia since he lived there for a quite of time. Australia is near Indonesia (well, far away from Japan though), but I never had chance to go there.

3. Bangkok, Thailand

I got some Thailand friends in APU, and after talking with them, I am so curious to visit their countries. Indonesia and Thailand quite similar in some of aspects, but it would be really great if I could visit it. Hey, it's near to Indonesia anyway!

4. Brazil

Okay, I don't know any Brazilian to begin with, but Brazil is one of the places I really want to visit. 

I can list more and more and more until you get bored, but at least for now, this is my wish-list. Would anyone buy me a free ticket for me? I went to Seoul and Busan last February and cannot wait to come back again. Also, I haven't finished my-travel-list-before-I-leave-Japan yet. There's still a long way for me and everyone, don't forget to travel while you still can! 

It's been a long time since I post a really long post, eh?

The Last Month of Me Being 19

Today is May 9th, 2012, which means I have the whole last month of being a teenager. I cannot believe that finally I will become 20. I mean, come on, 20 years old! Somehow, I don't feel like any other 20 years old I know. On my last year of my teenager year, I can say that I was quite lucky. I learned a lot through laughs, smiles, cries and tears. Well, I still have a full 30 days left before I really enter the 20s to conclude everything.

I posted this just as a remark that I've came this far. 

And my new journey awaits me next month. I had been loving my life up until this moment but I am sure I will love more in the future. 


And as the last month of me being 19 years old, I was asking myself.
What would I like to do?