The Best Thing About Being Alone

"Maya, where did you just go?"
"I just went to Starbucks and get this," *showing my Starbucks tumbler, filled with Caramel White Chocolate.
"Alone?"
"Yeah,"
"Next time, you shouldn't go alone to Starbucks. It's so.. lonely,"

It was the real conversation I had about two days ago with my Vietnamese friend, when I just got into the bus from Starbucks (read post Refreshing Time). And yesterday, that Vietnamese friend of mind had her birthday and as the reply of my birthday wishes on her facebook wall, she replied, " ...hope u will not enjoy Starbucks alone next time..." Is it that pathetic to be alone?

To begin with, actually I am not a talkative person. I am more an introvert. I started to be more open to people and stuff, but recently, I feel tired. And all I want to do is being alone. Even though I have close friends, but when I want to be alone, I really want to be alone. 


Being alone is my way to think carefully of all of my problems, my thoughts, my feelings, and everything. I can sort out my thought and also motivate myself to not give up with the current situation. The moment where you only have yourself and your mind.


There are people who don't like being or seen alone. But I think, most in our time, we all agree that sometimes we also want to be all alone.


Don't you think so?

The Inspiration Why I Can Stand By My Own Foot

Hi, blogger! Yesterday, my friend just told me that she just watched my favorite Japanese Drama called 14 Years Old Mother (14才の母). The story is about how a 14 years old girl called Miki got pregnant and then decided to keep the baby event though every single person in her life against her decision. But, because she wants to be responsible with her action, she struggling from all the obstacle by herself.

To begin with, I remember watching the drama before I came to APU, and it's inspired me a lot. She is just 14 years old girl, but she has that braveness to face her problem, go to the doctor alone, etc. Miki is such an inspirational character that without I realize encourage me to tell my parents about the life path I want to choose, which is going to APU and live by my own in Japan.

That drama encourage me to not run away from your problem and might be one of the reason I am coming to APU. I want to be such a strong character like that fictional character called Miki. And from that point, just like Miki who never regret on her decision to keep the baby even though she has to pay it with dropped out from school, hated by her best friends, broken up with her boyfriend, obstacle look from others, etc., I decided to try to not regretting what I already chose, what I already decided by my own.

The story inspired me a lot to be a brave girl and one of the reason why I can stand by my own foot here in Japan. I remember, as I preparing all the documents for my departure to APU Japan, I listen to the theme song of this drama and made promises. That time, I promised to not cry, to be strong, to be independent, and whenever I fall, I have to look up the sky and get up by myself. As I writing this, I remember those promises that I almost forgotten about. Guess it's a good thing, eh?

Refreshing Time

Recently, I cannot concentrate on almost all of my work. I think I get in the point where I had enough with all of these busyness. The peak was yesterday, when I had Japanese Kanji and Grammar Exam and I cannot study even for a minute! I read but it cannot get into my head. I remembering the Kanji, but after I turn away, I forgot everything. I messed up really really bad. After the exam, I remembered going out from the class with teary-eyes. I am going to get a bad grade for sure and I am not exaggerating right now.

I still have some exams and reports to do. So, today I decided to change the environment. I cannot study or concentrate in either AP House nor APU Campus anymore. So I went to downtown, bringing all my reports and studies. I went to McD, where it became something rare for me now and had nice lunch there (Big Chicken McD!) and went to Starbucks to have the new Caramel White Chocolate =9

Being in different place, different environment, helped me to study and concentrate.. a lot. Enjoying my weekend in coffee shop while writing my report is not something that I usually do, but the coffee smell actually makes me much more relax that boost my mood and concentration. I think it will be my new habit from now on, finding new places to study or write whenever I feel so down or so.. actually, I think it's kind of important.

Enjoy your weekend and wish me luck with my exams, report, and grade!

Am I Too Workaholic?

Lately, I heard a lot of "You work too hard, Maya" or "You are such a workaholic person," from lots of people close to me. I start wondering, am I too workaholic?

Since I came to APU on September 2010, I never had a day without work, work and work. Okay, I am exaggerating here, but I am serious. I seldom have a free time. I joined lots of activities that made me busy from early morning until late night. Moreover, now I also an Resident Assistant (RA), SAS Student Staff, Indonesian Week 2012 Core Member, and taking part of leader for several things. Plenty of works? More than you can imagine.

The photo I posted here is my personal agenda. I bring it everywhere. Checking my schedule like at least 5 times a day, from morning until (sometimes) morning again. I already getting used to have like 5 different meetings a day. Also, I take my study very serious. That is why I came here. I'm getting used to sleep at 3 or 4 am in the morning after finishing all my assignments and works. Last quarter, I had classes from 10:35 until 17:40 non-stop (I only ate some calorie snacks to balance my diet)

I want to share about my daily life in APU but I now, I think that's not the best thing to do. It's not that I bragging about myself being busy or all those stuff, but, if you have a chance to see my schedule book, I bet you won't believe what's written there.

Back to the topic. Recently, I am thinking about this, why I am such a workaholic? Why can't I live normally in APU like any other people? Why can't I just go to school, do my assignments, meet my friends, and that's it? Why I have to be so interested with so many activities that ends up make me busy like hell?

The thing is.. being busy is my way to express my feeling. If you know me enough, when I start being busier than ever, that means something bothering my mind. Being busy is my way to escape from my own reality. The busier I am, the happier I will get. Being busy will stop me from thinking things that I don't want to think of. And also, whenever I decide to do something, I will never do it half-heartly. Even though it turns out that I lost my interest on it, I will try my best to do my best on it. And giving up in the middle of the process is not my surname.

Especially, when I want to forget about bad memories, I will be busier than ever.
I guess I cannot stop for being workaholic because it became my surname. And maybe, just maybe, I got a feeling that I will never stop being busy during my life in APU.

Japanese Art Work : New Year

Hi, blogger! I just want to share some pictures of what I did during this year's New Year. As you know, Japanese New Year is so different with other's countries new year. They don't have firework or parties.

They actually have some traditions such as going to temple or shrine at midnight to pray and take their first fortune teller paper of the year. Then they will eat New Year's Food called Osechi. The second photo is the example of Osechi that was made by my dorm. And we made it special because instead of Japanese foods, we cooked multicultural foods from all around the world. Other thing is usually kids and young people receive money from the elders.

One thing that made my new year special this year is that I went to Kagoshima on 1st January to visit my sharemate house. There, I tried Kimono for the first time. I was the one that wore the pink Kimono and it was so beautiful. I think I am so lucky that I could experienced such experience in my life =)

Actually, I am more emphasize on showing the photos because unlikely usual, I edited them a bit. I am more into photography recently. And I love to express how I love the Japanese Culture through photography, so I just made this short post.

Final exam is approaching, but after that, I think I can start to update this blog regularly. Thanks for reading and see you soon!

Maya

Two Different Worlds

Living in Jakarta for the past 12 years since I left Pittsburgh until about one and a half ago was really something. The thing is, it's completely different with my life in Japan right now. I never realize this until I opened my old album, my old blog, old photos with friends, and when I came back to Jakarta itself last summer. 


When thinking back about my life in Jakarta, let's say during my high school years, I found it somehow sparkling with metropolitan big city life, birthday parties, dresses, big malls, fashion, beauty, salon, hanging out with friends in some decent restaurants for birthday celebration, etc.


During my high school, I went to salon for hair mask or hair spa like every month at least. Went to mall with friends and eat like every 2 weeks or so. Especially during my holiday between my high school graduation and the time I leave for Japan which is about 5 months long. I went to salon just for hair treatment and straighten it afterwards, then went to movies with my close friends, watched cable TV or DVD at home, went to nearest Periplus to get the latest novel, etc. And I feel that I was more stylish back then. I treated my hair regularly. Because I love bags and shoes, I always borrowed Mom's and her collection are just right. Also, I loved to wear a low heels to complete my style. Life seems so much easy back then, but dependable.

Living in Japan, especially Beppu, gives me something completely different. No driver that will drive me wherever I want. No cheap salon to do hair treatment every week or month. I started learn how to cut my own hair because it's so expensive to get a haircut here. No movies every month because the nearest cinema is in the other city (I am not kidding). Watched DVD became something rare because my busyness here. I just wear my black Converse almost all the time, and just one or two everyday bags. No more birthday parties, or accompany my mother to wedding reception that allows me to wear beautiful dress and have excuse to do beautiful make up and hair do. And it's so difficult to check my favorite author's latest book since almost every novel here in Japanese and my Japanese level is not that good yet to read a whole novel. Doesn't mean my life here is bad or boring, since it's not at all. It's just different and in the good way, because I become more modest and simpler.


My life here full of study, activities, trying to survive, live independently, organize my time, get my work done, maintain a good relationship (not romantic one) with people I just met here, etc. My daily appearance is so different with mine when I was in Jakarta. My hair just being wash with shampoo and conditioner, apply some light make-up, dress simple, wear my Converse shoes, grab my backpack, and I am ready to go to campus. Instead of malls, I am more often travel around Japan which require simple outfit (more likely tops and jeans only) and my camera. 


Living in Jakarta and  Japan is completely two different things. It's like having two different worlds. When I am in Jakarta, I have another life which is different with my life in Japan. But when I live in Japan, I live in a life where I show up as a girl who shows who she really is without all the help from beauty salon, branded stuff and big city life.


Which one do you prefer?


With love,
Maya

I Wish Dexter Mayhew Said This To Me..

" You're gorgeous, you old hag, and if I could give you just one gift ever for the rest of your life it would be this. Confidence. It would be the gift of confidence. Either that or a scented candle" - Dexter Mayhew, One Day

This quote means so much to me, more than you can imagine. Wish this Dexter said this to me. Lack of confidence is my surname. I often have no confidence in almost.. everything. I lack confidence of myself, a lot. Keep thinking that I could bored people just a moment after we start to talk unable me to start the conversation with others. Entrust my own ability and doubting my capability. And sometimes keep thinking that what I have done so far, majorly because of my luck.


I really wish someone give me confidence. Life must be much easier now and then.


In the end of holiday,
Maya