You're an Introvert? Extrovert? Who Cares!

So, today is my first day of summer vacation, but I spent it by taking Summer Session for about 4 days. I'm already dying for summer vacation but instead, I am taking another course; the reason is just because the course is Peer Leader Training II. The professor really knows how to teach and make the best out of his students, that's why I am taking it despite in this hot weather.

Professor introduced us to one common psychologist test in USA called MBTI. Maybe some of you know about it and have ever taken before. But here in Japan, it's a quite brand new thing. I guess I'd read about it somewhere in internet before, but I am not sure whether it is really the MBTI one or other online psychologist test.

Okay, anyway, my result was INFJ (Introvert, Intuition, Feeling, Judging). It is said about something that I always want to know reason and connections behind things. I am curious what motivate people doing certain things. It is said that I am really commit with things once I decide and have a long term concrete goal because I am an organized type of person. Well, after thinking back my past and present, I'm kind of agree with the result. Even the career opportunities being written in the booklet are actually my childhood dreams. I was like wow.

The reason the professor asked us to take this test is simply he wants us to understand one thing.. we should understand differences. Everyone is different and we should accept it; not thinking that as a strange or wrong thing.

Actually, I had this one problem from a long time ago. Yes, I am an introvert. I'm inherited it from my dad and I knew it since forever. I don't need to take that test to know it. Even though my dad is an introvert, but he doesn't look like one. Yes, he enjoys reading books and watching DVDs alone, but he socializes just fine and everyone knows and loves him. Surrounded by my mom and my brother that are extra-extrovert made me always think that being an introvert is so inferior. Something that I must solve.

So I came to APU hoping that I can become more extrovert. I started joining lots of activities, events, organizations, gathering.. everything that could help me on developing my self and also my communication skill. In APU, most of international students are extroverts. Also, being an RA, I don't know why but I got this blur image that an RA should be an extrovert in order to be close with the residents. So I start thinking that I should change myself to become an extrovert in order to survive.

But in the end, I got tired lying to myself. I will always be an introvert. Honestly, sometimes I feel a little bit down and annoyed by myself, by the fact that I could not be as easy-going as other people. Then, today, the professor said something that really changed my point of view.

Being an introvert doesn't mean your socialize skill is low that make you unable to make lots of friends and being an extrovert doesn't guarantee you having a high skill of socialize with other people as well.

So, that's the answer I've been searching for years. No matter what type of person you are, your skill is the one who determine who you are. I really wanted to become more easy-going person that's why I became an RA; I wanted to be able to talk casually with everybody, just like everyone I know do. Then, I failed. I will never be able be as extrovert as the real extrovert people. I thought something must be wrong with me. But then, when I had group discussion in class with the introvert people and talked about what I worry most as being an introvert, they also had the same ideas with me and I just realize that it is... normal. Being an introvert is normal. It doesn't mean my effort this year is useless where the matter of fact I couldn't change myself to become an extrovert. When I start the discussion, I could easily talk with them. I might not as talkative as other extrovert, but I become more talkative and easy going rather than other introverts. I guess that's what the professor means by skill, right? And I am glad that I got that skill from my past experiences, including being an RA.

In conclusion, I will always be an introvert for the rest of my life. I will always enjoying reading books over weekend, watching movies, or enjoying beautiful scenery alone when I have too much thing in my head, just like my dad. But in the other hand, I will always try to enjoy meeting new friends, talk with others and be spontaneous as well, so I can sharpen my socialize skill. I guess I found out my dad's secret.

Nothing wrong of being an introvert or extrovert. Who cares! The best thing of all is just be yourself.