It's More Like Losing a Friend

Life is always out of expectation. It's been almost a month since the last time I contacted him.
As I read some of my old conversations with him, there was a strange feeling came along with it.
Not raged anger of disappointment that trap me in several weeks ago.
Not even self-blaming like I felt so strongly before.
It's just a kind of feeling when you saw your old friend's photograph that you know you will never had a chance to get in touch with them anymore once you got involve in a really big ugly fight.

In the beginning, we were a really good friend. We really were.
We talked a lot and laughed over jokes a lot.
It was so easy back then, when we didn't have to care about each others' feelings yet.
Kind of feeling like you got to live in a new place and get excited all over it.
He was a very good friend for me, that I can talk anything about with.
It's not the whole fairy-tale romantic memories that I missed about him the most.
It's just our simple random chat about nonsense throughout the nights.

How could such a good friend became a stranger that we'd never even talk to each other anymore?
And how could something called love can ruin one single friendship once it get out of line?

To be honestly speaking,
I do miss talking with him. Not as his girl, but as his friend.
Because for me,
losing him is more like losing a good friend of mine.