I Must Be a 社会人 Inside

I remember I was quite busy during my first year in APU. Joining bunch of local exchanges, multicultural weeks, part of camps and even a shareholders' meeting in Kyoto on behalf of APU students (not a joke, folks). My second year even much crazier. I joined RA, SAS, and also taking part of Indonesian Week 2012, where all my days filled with meeting, meeting, meeting, and works that have to be done at the end of the day. I remember I cried when I didn't have time to study for Japanese Final Exam and blamed myself for taking part of many things and couldn't handle it. I was thinking back then, why did I doing all these stuffs when my purpose coming to Japan was for study, not became a busy-little-girl. Yes, I remember well when everyone labelled me as the busy girl.

Now, here I am. Had been free from all those things. No more RA meetings nor Kitchen Duty. No more go to Student Office every single days to talk with the officer who in charge of Multicultural Weeks on behalf of Indonesian Week 2012 Committee or reserving classrooms for dance practice. No more hectic schedule. No more busy girl.

I knew exactly how it felt having no time for study how much I wanted to. Now I can understand people who are dying to go to school but cannot go because of financial or other reason. That is why, this semester I don't dare to waste my time for lazying around. I was craving for study time for the last one year and I am going to use it properly. Other than class? Yeah, I still have TA works and SAS, which still keep me busy on Wednesday.

Still, something is missing. I was so used to have meetings all day long. Continuing meetings. But suddenly, now I don't have anything. I feel like I lost something that had been part of me for a long time. And I wish I could have some part of it back. Yeah, I said it. I must had became a typical Japanese society's member or 社会人 (syakaijin). You know, they are bunch of Japanese people who do nothing besides work, work, and work every single day. And for them, they couldn't stand doing nothing. They work until morning and have a very little free time. Once they got a one-or-two days free, they appreciate it as if it's a Christmas present from Santa Claus. And I'd became exactly like them. I couldn't stand doing nothing. Thanks to my free time, I always finish all my studies (including reviewing and previewing!) early. But, after that? I have too many free time, which killing me inside. 

I really need to find something or I might go insane for some instance. Interesting. Somehow I couldn't say I am enjoying my freedom as much as I thought I would be. When I thought about this, I remember nearly one year and half ago, one of my senior from China told me this when I told him I wanted to go for exchange in Ritsumeikan University (RU).

"You won't fit there, trust me,"
"Eh? Why not? I haven't even give it a try,"
"You'll get bored. RU is different from APU. There's not a lot of activities you can join, and for such an active person like you, you'd better stay here,"

Funny when I realize it now that he knows me better than myself, despite when he said that, he just met me 4 months earlier. All I can do now is focusing on my study (nothing else to do), do TA and SAS, and if I could, joining beneficial activities from campus and (maybe) find part-time job.

I am a 社会人。
I am a 社会人。

Sigh.