Rainbow Over the Rain

Sometimes in life, you have to get through some hardship to realize things. And sometimes, you should be wet in the rain to understand the beauty of rainbows. I was applying for internship for the past 2 weeks. It is not something that easy to get considering I have to be fluent in Japanese to be able to apply for it. Moreover, all the application form, resume, and short essay should be written in Japanese with hand-writing, and without correction pen. Yes, once you mistaken one word or even only one stroke of Kanji, you have to write everything all over again. 

As I know I have to come back to Indonesia after I finished my study here, getting internship here is the closest thing I can do to make my dreams of having working experience in Japan comes true. So, when my best friend told me about this internship thing, I took this internship thingy seriously this time. Actually, I just finished the internship interview this morning even though I couldn't tell at all whether I could pass or not. But the thing is, I am glad I give it a try, and really working hard for it.

I wrote the internship entry sheet until 3 am in the morning and had to rewrite it for more than 3 times. My essay was being checked again and again until I had to changed it for 5 times. I almost missed the last bus from my campus because I was writing my resume in library until late night. I remember what my brother said not so long time ago.

"Hard things won't happen twice, enjoy it, every second of life,"

I guess he's right. But the thing is, it is not that I MUST get the internship or not, but how was brave enough to challenge myself to pick that application form and start writing on it. Usually, I will just give up even before I try to with an excuse of not having enough time to write it, but actually I was hiding inside my comfort zone. And I just realized a lot of things from this.

I got a chance to talk with Saga-san, the officer of SAS, and I just realized how much she actually really care about me. I already worked with her for 2 years and she really encourage and support me to apply for the internship. As she's going to leave APU next semester, I realized this would be the last time I had a chance to talk and discuss things with her. I don't know if I could meet someone like her in the future, where she really believes in my potential, more than myself and support me like my own mother (sometimes even more).

Being used to solve my own problem by my own since I was little, I used to think that asking for help is kind of a weakness, as if you are not capable enough to do your things on your own. But sometimes, there's things in life that you need other people to help you, and that's not necessary showing that you are weak, that's what I learn. I always stand up by my own whenever I fall and ignoring the pain of my bleeding knees and keep walking forward, but actually if I just stop for awhile, I will see those people are there for me, reaching out their hands and more than willing to help me heal the wounds.

There are people like Saga-san, who fully support me and believe on me very much. Doesn't mind taking her own time to check my essay and give lots of advice for me. Those people like my friend who were willing to check my Japanese grammar for about 6 hours long. The other Japanese friends who helped me practicing for the interview. And that one friend who even came to the interview place in this early morning to give his full support for me and even bought me some chocolate so I could calm down. 

おまじない omajinai from my Japanese friend

They don't know how their little action give so much impact on me and how it really meant for me. For the first time, when they said 「頑張ってね！ganbatte ne!」 or "do your best!" from the way they said it, I could really feel that they really meant it and support me and it's really encourage me to not give up in the process because they really believe in me. And as I said, well.. I do wish I can get the internship, but even if I failed, I won't regret it because I already did my best for this and more over, I could realize things that I never realized before.

And that's what I really need for now.

ps. anyway please wish me luck that I could get the internship! lol